Our journey to grow our family

This may look like a blob to most of you...but this is science at its finest! Despite a huge roller coaster and tons of close calls--we have been blessed with being 2 for 2 with invitro success. Truly truly amazing!
I am now almost ten weeks along--a couple more weeks of high risk and shots and I am due June 20th!
For those of you who have been there holding my hand, listening to my tears and praying alongside us-- THANK YOU!
We started this process with nine embryos. The doctor told us most assuredly that with nine frozen odds were in our favor. We thought it might take us a few times but all would be well. The morning of the "transfer" we received a call. Out of nine, 5 did not grow at all. Out of the remaining 4 --3 started to grow and then stopped. There was ONE that was in poor condition and they were wanting to push it as far as they could to grow it one more day and hope it reached fair condition so we could try to transfer. We were advised to be realistic. I as crushed.
The next day we were surprised to hear that TWO had actually started to hatch themselves (weird I know) and we decided to transfer both.
Well, despite a few more scares... I am here to tell you that we have truly been blessed and I can't wait to meet our new little guy or girl!
(I do have to remind myself almost hourly how bad I wanted this so I can tolerate my extreme nausea!) But, having Carson reminds me that it is ALL WORTH IT!

Evidence

By now all readers of my blog probably know a bit about Carson's obsession with cars. He spends a lot of time sitting in any car and driving.
The other day I unloaded the groceries while he sat in the car. He was so happy, I proceeded to put them away as well. As I looked out the door, his head disappeared. Only to reemerge a few seconds later to reveal this:

I am afraid we may have another Diet Coke addict in the family to my non carbonation, absolutely no caffeine drinking husband's dismay. Although this may look bad, I assure you. I don't leave but a drop in the cans.

A similar occurrence happened in the garbage can last week. Oh my! Kinda gross.

I love you, Shawn! :)

I love you Stinky Face

Carson and I go this at the library last week. I highly recommend this story. Maybe I am a bit emotional, but I can't get through reading this out loud without getting choked up.
I am thinking it is worth buying!

Lots Of Updates

First off, having a toddler in the house is more fun than anything I have ever experienced. I can't imagine not having one EVER! This pic is because Carson became obsessed with some little red foam pad that was in Daddy's computer box. It even became a pillow on the front porch, he washed the floor with it, and put Kitty on it as well.
Oh, you may not have met Kitty yet. He is a member of the family now. Don't worry, our allergies prevent a real kitty. But my mom brought this on her trip for Carse and he eats, sleeps and plays with him. It is a good thing he washes well, he took a chocolate milk bath yesterday.


We have had many adventures in the last couple of weeks. We went to the Bennion Ranch and then the May cabin. Carson loves it and travels so well!
Carson also has an excellent internal clock. This is him at 5:40 everyday. He knows Daddy will be home anytime. Sometimes Daddy does not get home until 6:00. It is the longest 20 minutes of the day.
Carson's driving obsession continues. It has extended to motorcycles and helicopters. But NOTHING Tops the "Big Red" that Grandma Bennion got for all of the grandkids. The entire time at the ranch and cabin he was wanting to drive. We ended up taking him on two drives that last around two hours and finally getting him to fall asleep.
He is now obsessed with keys as well. Well, he realizes you need those to drive. So, he pretends to reach in his pocket and pull out a key and drive anything that resembles handlebars or a steering wheel.
Yesterday I watched him put my car key in his pb&j sandwich and turn in over and over making a motor noise. We also spent a very long time looking for my car key which ended up being in the silverware drawer:)
I have so many stores of my entertaining little guy! I wish I could record every moment and spend my retirement years watching them over and over!

Hot Air Balloon Festival

This post would be a perfect opportunity to put up a really gorgeous picture of a hot air balloon, but that is not to be. Let me tell you why.
About 7 years ago I went to the Eden Hot Air Balloon Festival. I loved it! So, for the past 7 years I have tried to go and it usually corresponds with hunting season and does not work out.
Well, this year my mom was in town so J went hunting and I excitedly planned going to the Festival. It was Friday and Saturday.
We passed up Friday for various reasons and woke up at 5am on Sat morning to make the 1 1/2 drive to Eden. Woke poor Carse up and packed in the car for the day.
The lightning and driving rain would have turned most people around. But not us. I figured it would clear up. I was determined and if anyone has seen me in that mode... you would understand.
Got lost a few times. Ended up in Eden around 7:30am. No balloons. Talked to a sweet kid who told us to come back at 6:30pm as one balloonist was going to launch NO MATTER WHAT.
Drove all the way home. Carson was loving the ride. Went home took naps and drove BACK UP. It was sunny and beautiful.
Arrived at 6pm. Waited, waited, waited. No balloons. At 7:30pm I went and spoke to a pilot who said it was not going to happen. But, they would try for a balloon glow at 9pm. The music was horrible and the vendors were all at a different location(weird planning).
So, we made the drive back. Stopped for a concillatory peach frozen yogurt and tried to make it back before dark.
No balloons. It was so beautiful up there I am trying to convince my husband to sell our house, buy a lot and camp year round until we can afford to build up there.
I guess I will try again in the next 7 years.

Direct Order from my Etsy Shop

www.trendybendy.etsy.com

trendybendy

What I have been up to?? Well, a lot of sleepless nights and quick dinners as I start my small business...

The website and etsy are in the works, but in the meantime I have a few designs on http://www.trendybendydesign.blogspot.com/

I will also be hosting an open house in the near future--(tentatively, August 17th)I am offering interchangeable watch bands, watches, and bracelets at a reasonable cost.

It is so much fun--

I also just got picked up by Seasons Boutique on 10600 South and State --across from Southtowne Mall. They are selling my designs there--so make sure and stop by and check them out.

Let me know if you would like to host a party --people can pick their own watches or make them as well.

I am so excited about this new venture--all profits made go to invitro round #2--so we can try and get Carson a sibling (he is getting much too spoiled all by himself)

Thanks for your support! Tell your friends (website should be up and running by Friday)

Washington Trip

This was take #543...amazing huh? The other pics are funnier, with parents arms in, Carson crying because he didn't want to share the wagon, I think there may have been a bit of pinching, kissing, and grabbing.
From left to right- Shawn Jr 4 yrs, Baron 9 mos, Xarik 14 mos, Carson 18 mos, and Brooke 4 mos. While they look like we dosed them with Benadryl for the pic, it was actually quite a busy time with all these babies.
We all went camping and it was a blast! I was impressed with how well Carson did sleeping in a tent but I should remember he is his father's son and if he is outdoors he is happy.
He tried so hard to keep up with his cousin and ended up with a forehead full of bruises, a scraped up chin, and no skin left on his knees. At one point he had such a huge bruise on his forehead we were calling him Cyclops. But he was not deterred and had a great time!
Usually you go to Wash for milder weather, but temps reached all time records of 109 degrees with lots of humidity and not much air conditioning. Thank goodness for the hot tub turned "cold" tub or we would have all fainted.
While it was hectic, it was so much fun having all the boys together. And Brookie of course. She will either be spoiled rotten or one tough cookie... we are waiting to find out!

Washington

Washington has been great so far but it is HOT HOT HOT! Extreme temperatures and no air conditioning.

More later--ready to go jump back in the sprinklers.

Finches

The kids, not the birds.
This summer we have been able to have Faith and Jonah over on Wednesdays. It has been so much fun!
I find myself looking forward to Wednesdays more and more. Faith is almost 8 and Jonah almost 7 and they are a blast! Plus, they are so helpful with Carson... and he stays very entertained. We were even blessed with the company of Jake (12) last week since we went rafting and I guilt tripped him into coming.
Anyway....we do something different every week. The first few weeks it rained but amazingly the rained stopped during our outings.
We went to:
Wheeler Farm
Gardner Village for Petting Zoo and horse rides
Lake and rafting
We also have craft time and journal time during Carson's nap. The kids each have a journal where they draw pics to record all the things they did. Faith likes to include EVERYTHING.
The pic below is of her going "Podey".... yes, those are her underwear around her ankles. So funny!

Thank Heavens for Broken Dishwashers

I most always try to find the silver linings in things. But the fact that our dishwasher broke about two months ago and it is not on our immediate priority list to get a new one--I was not so happy.

I realize this is not the worst thing to have happen. After all, the first place we lived after we were married we did not have a dishwasher. Of course, we worked all day and really only needed to wash dinner dishes and had the time to do it together. Now, I feel like it is an endless battle.

Of course, today changed that. This last week I have been letting Carse pull up a chair and "help". I am not sure if the clean dishes are worth the pile of water on the floor and on him but how he loves it.

Today I had a big pile and I was going to wash them during naptime. Carson had other plans. With all of his strength he began pulling the chair to the sink. So, we started washing.

He actually was a big help today. He was very serious about getting all the bubbles off and laying them on the towel. I would then proceed to turn the dish upside down on the towel. Well, it only took him a moment to realize what I was doing and he began putting them upside down and then beaming at me with the biggest look of pride on his face.

Thank heavens for broken dishwashers or I may have missed teaching my kid how to help mommy with dishes and that look of pride that will make me smile all day.

Still Catching Up!

Spent the 4th with the buffaloes this year. Eatin' em, admiring 'em and taking pics with them on Grandpa Marks' farm.
The whole May fam was in town for Marlo's funeral. It was nice to get all of the great grandkids together for the first time.
I got to spend some time riding around on the Rhino with the kids. No, folks, do not worry Mark has not purchased a real rhino at any auctions as of late. However, it is a fun vehicle to ride around the farm on. I think I may have had more of a blast than the kids.
Unfortunately, J and I had been up all night the night before cause Carson was not feeling well...so we were in bed before the fireworks.
But this is Utah, so 4th of July #2 is only weeks away!

Grandpa May

Grandpa May passed away on July 1st, 2009. After beating cancer over the last couple of years, I have to say this came as quite a shock.
But I know he was ready. He missed his son Brian so much and he also knew we were all taken care of here.
Even during his times of pain, when he worked really hard to be ornery--a kiss to his bald head would bring that smile you see above.
Justin has so many memories and wonderful stories to tell about his grandpa. One of my favorites was one he told me while we were dating. Apparently shortly before Justin met me, his grandpa asked him why he wasn't married yet. Then Grandpa said, "Well, you better hurry up and get married or else you will turn into a grumpy old *$@!* like your (insert name here)!" Justin was so shocked to hear his grandpa curse that he never forget that. Thanks, Marlo, you may have helped push him towards my direction. He definitely never forgot that advice.
I don't think I can adequately express how great this man was. I only knew him for the last five years and he completely won my heart over.
I think for the most part you can evaluate a life by someone's "fruits" as they say. Well, spend some time with the May family and you will see the "fruits" of Marlo. Then, you may have a glimpse of what an incredible man he was during his time on Earth.

WE WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH, GRANDPA MARLO!
(I guess it is time for Carson to grow some hair now--he doesn't need to stay bald to make Grandpa feel better anymore)

Father's Day

I am very behind on blogging, but I would be remiss if I did not take a minute to talk about Justin's second Father's Day. As you can see from the pic, he apparently was getting a lecture from his adoring son. Carson was so proud to give daddy his present and the picture he drew.
When I met J, he seemed like he was good at just about everything. Hard working, he could build and fix just about anything; intelligent, computer genius; dedicated, loyal, so honest, selfless, kind.
Because of these qualities I could not wait to call him my husband. Of course, he took that new responsibility seriously and in his usual way became the best husband anyone could ever ask for.
But, it wasn't until Justin became a father that I saw him reach his true potential. When I was pregnant I remember my stepdad saying "Boy, that kid is going to be so lucky to have Justin as a dad."
He is so patient with Carson. Their mutual awe of each other is something that I get to witness daily. Already they have such a bond and communicate with each other in a way I will probably never "get". Rare is the moment that those two are together and they are more than two feet apart. I think that each of them experience their greatest moments of joy together. Just being around each other they ooze pure happiness.
One of my favorite quotes is by David O. McKay "No amount of success can compensate for failure in the home."
Justin lives that quote. He has many goals in life and will do a great many things. I just hope that everyday he can realize he has already achieved so much in his greatest role... being a dad.

I Know I Have Said This Before....

I know I have said this before... but THIS is my favorite age. He is my little buddy these days. We hang out, he loves to cuddle still, and is very good at entertaining himself.
He is quite confident that he is an excellent speaker. He may sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown, but he gets whatever he is asking for so he is sure he is using the right sounds.
My favorite though is when J walks in the door. Carse will very loudly say "HI DAD!"--which actually comes out more like "I-DAT"--of course he opens his mouth wide like I do when saying hi to him.
No sounds like momma though yet. He is a stubborn one.

A Day In The Life

Today we:
Cleaned the kitchen
Planted flowers
Built a fort
Grilled Salmon
Bought more dirt and planted more flowers
Filled up Carson's pool- too cold to get in
Had a small water fight when my husband started to get lippy
Read books
Tossed the ball
Cleaned the kitchen again
Mowed the lawn
"pretended" to drive the car
Turned on the bubble machine and played in bubbles
Were invaded by the "tickle" monster
Carson put away his clothes and then took them back out of the drawers multiple times
Also unloaded his kitchen drawers and scattered items several times
Threw rocks
Went to the store
Justin helped someone move
Planned church lessons
Took naps (well two of us did anyway:)
Ready for another day!

Underage Driver

How did we get here? Carson eating breakfast, lunch and dinner in his new car?

It all started with this. Justin let Carson pretend to drive the redneck truck in the garage one day. See that smile? Should have known life as we knew it was over. At the time, he had never seen a stick shift so it was a microphone. I think he drove that truck for an hour before we brought him in kicking and screaming.Life will never be the same. Every single car...yes every one he passes he whines and cries at. Parking lots are nightmares for us. He believes he should drive every car he sees. The good news? Rainy days are so much fun. I get to sit in the car, listen to my country while Carson drives me to far off lands. Every walk we go on means chasing him up people's driveways as he cries to get in their cars. So we got this. Loves it. He also got to drive Grandpa Mark's jeep out on his property. yes, really drive. I am not sure who was more scared....me or the buffalo. Of course, this experience convinced him that he really should drive every car he sees.

This is where we shop now. I changed grocery stores to keep him happy. Oh...to have the world revolve around you:)

This is at Discovery Gateway. Again, kicking and screaming to get him to leave. However, I was proud of how he held his ground to much bigger boys. Don't mess with the Driver. He was not turning over that wheel to anyone.

My favorite was Mother's Day though. I was sitting at the computer when my special delivery car (pushed by Daddy) pulled up. Out the window he handed me a card, some candy, and then my very first coloring picture ever made by Carson. It was adorable.

Now if I could only get him to run to the store for me.

First Hike and Cabin Excursion

We took Carse on his first hike for Mother's Day weekend. Some friends let us borrow their "hiking backpack" for him. He spent about 2 minutes in it before he decided it was way more fun on the ground. I was very impressed with his "hiking" ability. Granted, there was not too much of an incline but Carson walked the majority of the 1.6 miles by himself. It took several hours because there were many distractions but it was so much fun!
This last weekend, my sis, her boyfriend and my adorable nephew came to visit! We went up to Grandpa Marks cabin and had a blast! We rented an ATV and it was definitely the highlight of the trip. I love seeing my boy outside, he is just totally content like his daddy!
Just a note: Cute Little Baron is not so little, he is 6 1/2 months compared to Carson's 16 months and they weigh the same! That noggin alone is at least a full pound!
We had a few exciting "mis" adventures... Carson pulled a hose on the ATV and the guys "fixed" it which caused the ATV to shut down in random locations--like when I was out by myself. The Bronco got a flat. And so on.. but we had a wonderful relaxing time.
We finished the trip by taking the long route through Heber--gorgeous and ending on the Olympic Park Zipline in Jeremy Ranch. We all did the EXTREME Zipline--pics to come later! I about passed out from fear--Justin says it is the most expensive ride ever since the only way I got on in the end is when he promised to buy Carson this yard helicopter teeter totter from Costco:0

We Saw Wicked!

I have been so busy that I have not blogged about it yet but J and I were fortunate enough to see Wicked at the Capitol Theatre!
It was FABULOUS and that is an understatement.
I have wanted to see it and had a few chances that never ended up working out. Almost paid $400 a ticket to see it in New York while on a work trip but that trip got cancelled.
Thanks to Nikki who came through and got us in on her season tickets sweet deal. We purchased the tickets last summer and I have been excited ever since.
Honestly... I highly recommend it to anyone, even if you are not a theater person.
Wicked is now a close second to my absolute favorite Les Miserables--but truly Les Miserables is untouchable in my book.
So, if you have a chance...go see it! Oh, but don't read the book. I started once, but it had puppet porn in it and I put it down. Very weird. I did hear it got better but I couldn't handle it.

Breaking Window Avoided

Last week we made a quick trip to Penneys.
As I loaded Carson in the car to leave, he whined until I gave him the car clicker (or FOB as J calls it)--I gave it to him, as always.
Tossed my purse in the front and went around to open my door. Locked.
It took me a second to realize what happened. I was locked out, my purse was in the front seat, my baby in the back. Windows were rolled up.
First signs of panic. Heart is racing. Beginning to sweat. My baby is locked in the car. He still has the clicker and from experience I know that it would take the jaws of life to pry it from his hands...he will not let go of it.
I start to try to communicate through the window to my 15 month old to press the right button. He laughs.. he thinks I am making faces at him.
A lady parks by us and makes eye contact. She sees my panic that I am trying to hide.
"Did you lock yourself out of the car?"
I explain. She offers to wait with him while I go into Penneys to call someone. What choice to I have? My biggest fear at the moment is that he will start to cry and I can't get to him. Also, the car is pretty warm.
The Penneys associates at the front of the store are not helpful. They have 12 phones up there and say I need to run all the way back to customer service to use one. I have told them my dilemma. They reemphasize I need to go back to customer service. This puts a distance between me and my child in the parking lot that makes me nervous. No time to punch a sales associate in the face so I run to the back of the store.
I am told to wait even though I say I have an emergency. She says it will be a few minutes. I am seconds away from jumping over the counter and flattening some bangs that are way to high to start with. However, when I explain my emergency she immediately gives me the phone and leaves her customer for two seconds. It may be the look on his face that caused her to react. I think he was ready to grab the phone and hand it to me. After all, he was just placing a catalog order and my child is stuck in a locked car.
Justin doesn't answer. Three tries. I call his grandma's. He is there. He says it will take him an hour to go home, get the spare, and drive there. Way too long. I tell him I am calling the police.
An employee runs through the store at that moment. "Your baby just unlocked the car!" She is elated. She had not been up at the front originally. I am grateful for her and the way she is running shows me she cares.
Those were the best six words of my month. I run outside.
My original angel is by the car with the door open. She says she almost took him out to find me but realized if we missed each other I would really freak out. She waited until someone else parked and had them go tell a sales associate.
I am so grateful! Apparently she heard the door click and grabbed it very quickly. Smart thinking.
Carson has this smug look like he knew what was going on the whole time. He thinks he pulled the best joke ever.
No clicker, FOB or whatever you want to call it for Carson anymore! His privilege has been revoked permanently!
All is well that ends well.

Wheeler Farm

Wheeler Farm is a very special place to me. When I first moved to Utah, I lived in an apartment near the Farm and I would go walking there almost every morning. It was a time for reflection, exercise, and with the beautiful mountains--a time to appreciate the beauty that surrounded me. Oh yeah, and at one point I had a faceoff with a fox.
Today, Justin met Carson and I there for lunch. We had such a great time and it is fun to be able to see J during the day. Carson is so excited to be able to walk everywhere that it was hard to get him to stay still during a picture.
This was my favorite picture from today. The best part??? There was a whole family in the background and I photoshopped them out. Pretty cool, Huh? Don't look too close though. Anyway, I think I will play around with it some more and see what I can do. I think we will be spending a lot of time there since the weather is warm.
While this pic may look idealic...let me shed some light. This picture follows me deciding to change Carson's diaper while he was standing near a picnic table. There was a messy situation going on down there that I was unaware of until I dropped the diaper. Once I got that cleaned up we started to walk up the hill. Carse is getting over a cold and start to cough really hard. This brought up his lunch which started out as a huge regurgitated lump in his mouth. He appeared to be choking on it, so like any good mom I pulled the chunk out of his mouth. Then he sprayed vomit everywhere. The poor people trying to enjoy their lunch nearby.
At that point, I wanted a shower but Carson was still wanting to play. There was a garbage nearby but it was not in the direction Carse and J wanted to go. So he insisted I carry my pukey wipes to a much farther garbage near the geese.
Don't you wish you could get the background on every picture???

Easter

My bro and his cute fam came to visit last week.

We went up to the Bennions for Dinner and an egg hunt. Carson did not quite catch on to the concept yet. He found his fave egg and held on tight the rest of the evening. Hey, the kids knows what he wants and doesn't let go. Nothing wrong with that.

Some of the weekly highlights:

Wild West Park...we all loved it!

Discovery Gateway Children's Museum- I think even Big Kids can enjoy themselves there. It was difficult and dramatic to pull Carson away from the steering wheel. It was the first time I saw him hold his ground even with big boys trying to push him out. He could have been there all day.

When Shawn Jr. was grumpy one morning he crossed him arms, pushed out his lips, and said "Hmmph!"--Carson loved it and started imitating him. It was adorable and Jr could not help but laugh at himself after that.

Rounds of "Wheels on the Bus"

Duck Duck Goose.... I have never seen Carse so excited as when waiting to see if he was a Duck or a Goose- good times

My brothers gourmet cooking- can't be beat.

Beth beating us at Knights and Castles her first game, while holding a baby and keeping Jr busy

Carson scared of his younger cousin Xarik and panicking when he came near

It was a crazy busy couple of days but it was so much fun! Jr already called to say he missed Carson and wanted to talk to him on the phone.

We miss you guys!

BUSY BUSY BUSY

Carson loves feeding his baby chick...it is pretty sweet.
He is full on walking now..and is quite proud of himself. I will have to post a video when my husband shows me how....AGAIN! But first, I have to humble myself to be able to ask again.
We have been keeping busy and having a great time lately. More and more I feel like I have a little buddy to hang out with all day. Although I don't know that any of my friends are quite as insistent on doing what THEY want to do all the time:0
Some of Carson's favorite things right now:
Wild West Park at the Veterans' Memorial Park in West Jordan
After his recent visit from Grandma--apparently she is the funniest person EVER! She just smiles and he laughs.
Strawberries
His toy Drill "just like daddies"- everything in our home has now been screwed properly--including Shelby's belly button. The level of concentration is amazing!
Curious George or "ooh ooh ahh ahh" as Carse calls him
Daddy--always!
Being outside-even if it is freezing. Carson whines at the door or window all day. Yesterday I think we seriously spent 4 hours outside.
Kitty cats--he says "ow ow" all the time now. Grandpa Mark and Grandma Susans' cat Monkey is an all time fave. He chased him around forever.
His Bee to ride around on
Liesel and Andrew-he is pretty happy just to be in their presence.
Pretending to drive Daddy's Bronco. He could do this for hours. He also likes to drive Daddy's old truck in the garage. Since he has never seen us use a stick shift--he pretends to sing into it like a microphone.
Forward facing carseat--he never realized all he was missing!
Dum Dum suckers--great for emergency purposes in public. Stops whining immediately.

Get Healthy!

I am trying to focus on being happier, healthier and em...skinnier wouldn't hurt! Swimsuit season is around the corner. I don't get as scared about swimsuit season as SHORT SLEEVE season. Yuck!

I used to use a site called www.thedailyplate.com. Recently the site became part of www.livestrong.com for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. I have only used it a few days but I am a HUGE fan.

There are a ton of weight loss, exercise tracking sights out there. This is one of the best I have seen. And it is FREE!

I thought I would share because I think most everyone can benefit. You track your food, you can save the ingredients from meals that you eat a lot to save time in tracking. You can also track all of your activities and make a weight loss goal. Based on your weight, height and activity level the program will indicate a calorie target each day so that you can reach your goal.

They also include healthy living articles, etc.

I know that research shows over and over that people who track their food reach and maintain weight goals. Maybe because those who binge and eat the cake, cookies, and pizza don't write it down. Who needs that evidence? Anyway, because I knew I was tracking it, I only had one scoop of ice cream last night and found that guess what? That was perfectly ok, I was still within my calorie goal.

Here is to SPRING!

Confessions of a Stay At Home Mom

I can honestly say that I am grateful and thankful everyday to be able to stay home with Carson.

So far today has been great. I got a membership at 24Hour and love their Kids Club. It was very hard to leave Carson there for the first time. But I like the staff and the fact that as I work out I can supposedly watch him on camera (it is a bit blurry). I felt much better about the fact that as soon as we got there today, he reached out for the employee and did not even look back at me. He needs lots of opportunities to play with other kids.

That being said, sometimes I think it is VERY hard to stay at home with your little one. Because there are so many people who would love the chance, you feel guilty if you need to complain a bit.

I am sure many of you out there can relate so let me just say it for you:
Every once in a while it would be great to have my lunch breaks back. To be able to chat with my co-worker and decide where we are going to eat and then TAKE OUR TIME!
Sometimes I miss working on projects that actually GET DONE and don't start all over again the next day. Plus, getting kudos for the good job you did on them wouldn't be so bad.
Did I really complain about grocery shopping when J and I were first married? What was I thinking. To be able to have time to sit down, write a list, get in the car with only my purse, and shop now would be a VACATION!
Paychecks are fun...even with bills. Having your own income and not feeling guilty if you want to indulge in yourself is fun too.
Mostly, I miss working with all different types of people. I love relating to people and learning about them. I miss the interesting conversations. I want to have a reason to dress up.
The bathroom! I really really would love to just go to the bathroom when I need to. Not have to make sure Carson is in a safe place, listen to him follow me down the hall, and then try and entertain him so he will not whine and try to get up on my lap...

I feel better already. There are also countless things I love about being a stay at home mom. In fact, I think we are going to head out to the aquarium right now!

AZ Baby!

I would love to post more often. But see, my kid is very similar to his dad in many ways. One way being that he thinks he absolutely owns the computer. Gone are the days of blogging while he sat contentedly in his bouncer. Now as soon as you even make a gesture towards the computer he races you, reaches up for you to lift him...throws a wonderful fit and now even yanks on your shirt until you get off "his" chair and leave him by himself. I guess those actions make him bit like me as well.
Anyway, we had great fun down in Arizona. While the summers are hot, the weather is absolutely perfect the rest of the year. I am tempted to convince my husband we need to move there for a few years!
Carson loved hanging out with Jackson and JR while Baby Brooklyn was being born. I was very very exhausted the first few days. Three kids is a lot! But there was a fabulous toddler park that saved us everyday. I could bring the kids there, wear them out for a few hours and then get them all down for a nap at the same time. We had to be creative with our transportation to the toddler park as I could only push one stroller at a time. Carson loved the basket...

Some Friends Lie

You may wonder why I put up this hideous picture of myself. It is to illustrate a point.

See, I bought these glasses last fall when I went to San Diego with my friends in book club. I only purchased them after I was told by several individuals that they were "SO CUTE!". When I got these pictures back I realized...they are so cute. But not on me.

I absolutely love Audrey Hepburn and her style. That is probably why I gravitated to these glasses in the first place. I look like a crazy killer bee...I am surprised my son is not frightened when I put them on.

Last Christmas I also found a hat at Target that I LOVED! It was Christmas time so I was trying to not spend money on myself so I waited. While in Washington, I tried the pillbox type hat on for my mom and sister. My mom exclaimed "OH it is so cute." I pictured myself as Audrey Hepburn while posing next to the mirrors.

That is when my sister said, " You look like Supernanny."

Dreams crushed. I did look a bit like Supernanny. And in the future, I will be sunglass shopping with my sister.

But, don't they look good on Justin...he had to wear them cause he lost his.

What I Have Been Doing

This year has already been so busy but fun. I have not taken the time to post lately as I have been trying to get so many different things done. Plus, Carson does not sit patiently on my lap while I type anymore. Giving him his own keyboard does not work either, he attacks the one I have and gets his determined look and lunges for the mouse as well.

I am taking a Photoshop class and LOVING it! One of my goals is to write Carson a story about his own adventures and create a fun book where he can see himself doing all the things of his imagination.

I am also working on organizing my home and life a bit. This is a PROCESS... I did check out a book called "The Ultimate Career" and it has inspired and helped me quite a bit. Then again, I only started reading it a week ago and my biggest problem is being consistent. So, we will see.

We just got back from going to Jill's cabin outside Kamas last weekend and it was incredible. Carson was a champ sledder. He is quite the daredevil with some things. We played board games, pool, sledded, cooked, and just relaxed. I think J needed it a lot; he has been under a lot of pressure at work and is creating a fabulous product that apparently would cost the company over 2.5 million to outsource. So far, everyone has been pretty impressed with the job he is doing. I am so proud of him. I do think we deserve at least 10% of what he is saving the company...but I guess they don't see my rationale.

Lately, I have also been obsessed with blue cheese. No, I am not kidding. I have had it in some form everyday for the past few weeks. I made blue cheese meatballs (and made so many that I froze some as hamburger patties), blue cheese pork chops, lots of salads with blue cheese, blue cheese and apple snacks, blue cheese with avocado and craisins (thanks, Esther) and blue cheese melted on turkey burgers. I am so glad you can get a huge one at Costco for cheap. All this talk is making me crave it now. Does anyone else get this obsessed with a food item? And NO! I am not pregnant.

Justin and I are also working really hard to stay on a budget. We sit down and set goals frequently and then FAIL miserably. Here are some ideas I had (or borrowed) that have helped us stay on our budget this month.

First, go grocery shopping only once every two weeks (we do have to make additional runs for milk for Carson since I fridge does not have a ton of room)--but THAT IS IT! You will be surprised at how creative you can get. Use all the fresh produce first and then have frozen fruits and veggies you can use at the end of the two weeks.

Have an egg dinner once a week. This may sound silly but we like our meat and proteins in our home. I am estimating this is saving us about $25.00 a month. That really adds up. We make quiches frequently.

My favorite is the green chili quiche:

Frozen pie crust

3 eggs

1 1/2 cups half and half or milk

2 cups cheese

1 can green chilies

dash of cumin

Mix eggs and milk and cumin. Place cheese in bottom of pie crust, reserving 1/2 cup for top. Spread chiles on cheese. Pour egg mixture over. Top with rest of cheese. Bake for 30 minutes at 375 degrees.

Yummy with orange julius and pancakes or whatever you want!

Date Night Budget:

Well, first of all having a date night would exciting anyway. To help us focus on having a date night once in a while we decided to start a new tactic. I think J fears that going out means dinner and movie and averaging $50 each time. We decided we wanted to limit our date night spending to $40 a month total for now. But this works for any amount you choose.

• Take the cash out in whatever bills you want. Making sure you have some small bills as well. Decide how many dates you will be going on for that month.
• Divide the money UNEVENLY in envelopes. For example, one envelope may have $5, one $1, one $12 and the other $22.
• Take turns planning the date. Hear that guys.... you get a TURN too.
• Early in the week the planner pulls an envelope and has to plan a date with only that amount of money.

It is fun and creative.

Some ideas:

• $1 movie
• Picnics
• Star gazing
• Snowman Building
• Temple Night
• Try a new restaurant
• Go to library and check out a book on a new hobby you want to try and try it together!
• Cook off (pick set ingredients and compete for best tasting creation)

Anyone have other ideas? Please share.

Well, that is all for now. Oh, for blue cheese meatballs:

http://www.recipezaar.com/Blue-Cheese-Meatballs-102025

I preferred them as a hamburger patty that I could add additional things to.

Who is This Kid?

Who is this little boy and where did he put my baby?
Carson is just about 13 months now and everyday I am amazed at how much he acts like a little boy.
Just a few of the things I adore about my boy:
He can now take about six or seven steps, they are usually at a near run and full of excitement
He stops, sits up on his knees and reaches up for me with the cutest look of anticipation
He says "Hot!" a lot-- I think I scared him a bit one day when he was about to touch the stove and my arms were full
He already gives people courtesy laughs..it is really hilarious
He has a picture of Jesus in his room...now all pics are "Shee-shush".. he likes to point and say it
He loves peas--thanks to Karen for introducing him. I hate peas so I did not give him any previously
Bath time is the highlight of his days, but always ends in a screaming, back throwing fit (dad calls him a crayfish for all of his flopping)
He loves to give kisses... I get a lot of them. Sometimes open mouthed, sometimes not. Always when he is appreciating something I am doing for him, he gets that tender look and goes in for the kill. Girls better watch out in the future.
Nobody is as cool as daddy, he watches his every move
He makes me laugh about 5000 times a day, that is good for anyone's health
He loves to cuddle and still nuzzles in the spot between my shoulder and neck
We dance everyday, he is getting quite good. Maybe a dancing with the stars candidate in the future
He has an amazing level of concentration and I swear he is figuring out how everything works
As always, those big, beautiful, trusting, loving, I have the world at my feet eyes.

I See Hair

For all of you disbelievers... my son really does have hair! Look! So, it only grows on one patch on the back of his head. He is trying to make his Grandpa Mark feel better. Yep, that's the kinda guy he is.

One Reason I love my Husband

I hate, hate, hate cleaning bathrooms. When Justin and I first started dating he would come and pull the hair out of mine and my roommates bathroom drains. Disgusting! But, what a guy!
This was a lot less expensive than before Justin. I would buy my little sister a ticket to Salt Lake and bribe her with Joes' Crab Shack if she would clean out the hair. No kidding.
When we were first married I decided to continue the bartering. I would do all the grocery shopping if Justin would clean the bathrooms. Signed, sealed, delivered. Deal.
About six months ago I started to feel a little guilty. I honestly had not cleaned a bathroom in years and I was staying home while he worked. So, I cleaned the bathroom.
Two hours later, I had hives all over my body. My eyes were totally swollen. We assumed it was the chemicals. So, we switched to Green Cleaning.
Justin insisted he take over the cleaning again. It takes him awhile but he is very very thorough. Last Saturday, I started to feel guilty again. That is when he reassured me.
And I quote, "It is ok honey. I knew when I met you you were meant for the life of a princess."
Finally, someone who agrees with my childhood fantasies! What a great husband!

Sailor Boy

Carson's Uncle Cody has joined the Navy and gave him this hat. Carson is very proud of the hat. He did not want to take it off the other day. I would take it off and he would get a very serious look and put it back on.
On the flip side, I put a headband with a big flower on his head as well. I was not trying to torture him, I purchased it for someone else and wanted to see it on. He was very very proud. He sat up straight and tall and smiled. When I took it off he kept attempting to put it back on and became very frustrated when he could not do it.
I knew if Dad saw, I would be forced to go back to work while he stayed home with Carson. No more of those shenanigans.

(I do have to say he looked very pretty with the flower but I do prefer him looking like a boy)

An Eventful Day

It all started when Carson's book from my mom did not arrive... AGAIN. She confirmed via UPS tracking that is was indeed delivered. I asked her to read the address out loud. Aha! She was a digit off.
The good news... that was only a few houses up the street. I would run over there... they were probably holding the package as it was neighbors we did not know. That is what most people would do, right? They probably had the best of intentions of getting it to us but did not have time.
I started to grab Carson to go with me. Then had second thoughts. Not sure why... but glad I did. He was busy playing with dad.
Some other neighbors who lived next door to the 'package holders' were outside. I chatted for a minute and asked if their neighbors were nice and explained the situation. They made a face and then said "well, they will talk to you" no confirmation on the nice part. I jokingly asked "well, do you guys have my back if anything goes wrong"...they laughed and said if I was in there over an hour they would come and get me. I made them promise ten minutes tops.
The gentlemen who opened the door was not friendly. Either was his dog that was barking behind the screen. He said he did not receive any packages. I told him UPS said it was on his porch last Saturday. He said he would ask his wife.
The wife came up and said no, no packages. I told her there were two delivered to this address and the address was verified. I was still smiling and being very nice.
The dog continued barking. I was giving up. Then the dog sprang out from the screen door and sank his teeth into my thigh. Not so fun.
The lady grabs me and says "INTO THE HOUSE!" as the dog was now trying to get at me again and I was trapped on the porch.
The man stayed on the porch with the dog. I was inside. She asked to see my leg. It looked worse than I thought initially. The adrenaline was making it so it wasn't so painful yet.
Then... the man lets the DOG BACK IN. He starts coming out me and blocking the front door...my only possible out!
I start yelling, "LOCK THAT DOG UP!" I could not leave. They throw the dog in the bedroom while the lady grabs me and runs me into her bedroom. She is distraught and apologizing while applying all manner of ointments to my leg. It is stinging. I yell, "WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING ON ME?"
The man comes up to me and continues to talk about the packages.... very slowly. The lady is blowing on my leg. He is saying, "I told her we can't keep the dog, it is our son's" He is being mean to his wife. She apparently will not let me leave until she has me "fixed up". I just want to go home. It is a bit surreal.
I keep asking, "Does the dog have shots?" I can not get out of my head the urban legends of the kids who had to get 126 rabies shots in their stomachs. They keep saying "Yes, Yes." I am not convinced.
The man tells well yes, they did receive a thin package. But he is sure it said Orlando. That is his son. I do not care about his son at this moment. I have been attacked by Cujo, I am being held captive by the medicine woman, and my Victoria Secret sweatpants have teethmarks. The ones I begged and cajoled my husband for. They have stolen my son's 1st birthday present book from his Grandma that she paid an extra $10 to overnight in time for his birthday.
I look at the man. "I just want to go home." And I push my way out of the back bedroom and out the front door. Cujo is still barking on the other side of the door.
My neighbors are still outside. "That dog really scared you huh?"
I laugh. "No, he actually bit me"--they are shocked and look like they feel bad. They tell me before Justin goes and kills the neighbors to come talk to them.
I walk home. When I walk in and see J and Carse staring at me I cry. Then I do not want my son to see me sad so I tell J what happened. I am so relieved my son was not on my hip.
The end result:
Antibiotics, pain meds, and apparently some muscle that was torn into
Animal Control Incident Report
No 1st Birthday Book
Waiting to hear about dog shot verification
A good excuse to not get up tomorrow morning to exercise
Hoping Cujo gets locked up permanently before a Girl Scout knocks on the door.....

I am seriously considering putting out a notice in the neighborhood!

Help! I am SO Tired!

What is happening?
Carson has been sleeping through the night since about 12 weeks thanks to "On Becoming Babywise". It has been a dream.
Things are changing!
Since the night of his birthday he wakes up several times a night, screaming at the top of his lungs and not able to catch his breath. We rock him back to sleep but the moment you lay him down he cries again and reaches for you, becoming hysterical.
Sunday night this went on from midnight to 4am. The next night it went on for two hours and then we let him cry it out which took another hour and was distressing.
Last night was the hardest though. He woke up at 10pm and I rocked him for an hour. I went to bed relieved. A half hour later he was up again. I rocked him for 30 minutes, trying to lay him down several times. He acts scared of me leaving and hides from the shadows on the wall. Finally, back to sleep. At 2:30am though he was crying again. I was so tired I broke my rule; I brought him into my bed.
The next four hours were him crawling on me trying to get comfortable. If I even laid him beside me he would scream. He had to be right on top of me, preferably with his head nuzzled under my neck and an elbow in my 'milk makers'...very comfortable let me assure you. He did at one point give me a kiss and hold my hand to reward me for my patience.
From what I am reading online and his very attached actions lately, I think he is going through separation anxiety???? Experienced moms, what do I do??? I need my sleep.

Mister Turns One!

I have been quite a bit busier than usual and have been meaning to post....we had a huge event in our household on Sunday... Carson turned ONE!

This year has flown by!

Despite my best efforts, I was a bit emotional all morning on Carson's birthday. I thought back to the fateful day 10 years ago when I was told that my chances of having a baby were less than 5%. I thought off all the prayers, tears, and oh let's not forget shots in the hopes that we could have a baby. Justin likes to remind me of the night I had to do the first shots. This was before the bigger needles even (in fact it was so tiny you could barely see it). I completely flipped out, I said I refused and would not come in the house... I was so scared of needles. I sat crying on the porch and told him we would have to save more money so we could adopt. (To my credit I had been on crazy hormones on and off forever already!) Now I look at my boy and I am so happy that I "stuck" it out--literally. I was traveling about 3 weeks a month then and by the end I was giving myself the huge needle shots in hotel rooms in between meetings. Yeah, the ones the Fertility Clinic said only a nurse going through it had done it for herself before. But, it was either that or go ask room service to do it for me and start the whole stinkin' process again!

Anyway, enough of that... time for some cute pics:



How precious! This is when he was still so happy about his first birthday...mesmerized by the candle and everyone singing to him...

This is after. My child is terrified by cupcakes now that his parents let him put the candle out with his fingers. I mean, seriously, could we not see this coming? We put a lighted candle within reach. Poor guy....
Please note the cute hat I made him for his birthday.. and for a few more braggin rights I made a banner too:

We had Nana, Grandpa Mark, Uncle Nick and Aunt Essie, Liesel, Andrew and Shannon and Genesis at the party. We made fun hats, played, opened presents, and had cake. It was a great time: